It is all right war at this point up in the sandwich spread world...of wonderful goodness. The butter knives have been drawn out and are ready for some spreading.
This Hussy is living in the Mayo side of town..Mayoville. I dare anyone to try and get me to move..get me to switch spreads. I will make fry sauce out of you faster than you can say hydrogenated oil.
Why am I coming off so hostile? What happened? Well..the Miracle Whip advertisers have gone to far...made one to many dips at us Mayo-ers expense. Making me about to bust a egg yolk!
There latest ad campaign. "Don't Be So Mayo" has clearly ruffled my taste buds. They think they are all that with their tangy zip taste..more spices..sweeter taste. Just take look:
Don't blend in? Don't be ordinary? Boring or Bland? In other words.. don't be so Mayo? Threating ME to not tone it down?
Sine when id your hip-ness determined my what spread you use? Who is behind this spread campaign? I am coming for you.
You can take your supposed own, unique, one of a kind flavor and go sit out on the counter with your lid off at room temperature!
They are nothing but a dressing. We over here in Mayoville..we are a main staple ingredient. A thick condiment....and after I get done petitioning the Food and Drug Administration..we will be our own food group. Part of the food pyramid.
How many recipes do you see call for Miracle Whip? Exactly. The Only thing you that is a miracle ..is that you have survived in the sandwich spreadable world this long. All you have to look at is our name Best Foods...enough said.
Besides..do you have a Holiday named after you? No. I didn't think so.
Cinco de Mayo...you better check your egg whites and vinegar! Don't mess with my condiment.
Would I like a little food with my mayo? Why yes..thank you.
That time I played women’s pro football. Yuh-huh.
18 hours ago