Thursday, April 2, 2009

I guess the Recession is all my kids fault

Sorry guys..it is all our fault that you are robbing Peter Pan to pay Paul Newman.

Have you heard what this freak is saying?

"Brazil's President Luiz InĂ¡cio Lula da Silva recently blamed the global economic crisis on "white people with blue eyes," and said it was wrong that black and indigenous people should pay for white people's mistakes, the Financial Times reported."

I read this and immediately thought WHAT? MY KIDS?

Now, my kids are not allowed on my humor blog...but this guy was straight calling us OUT!

Really Luiz? My son Cormac?Well he is white and has blue eyes. IN fact he has white hair. Does that mean he is secretly working for AIG? Is he getting a bonus that he hasn't shared with me?

*note to self- make sure to check his savings account for lots of zero behind the $1. If no luck, check his piggy bank*

Then I thought, YOU MEAN my daughter Chloe is in on this to?
She is white with blue eyes to! OMGreedy-genetics! DOH!

I have been bamboozled by my own.

I thought the only thing she was guilty of was stealing from the cookie jar. I should have been suspicious when I brought home a new purse the other day. She stole it....and immediately stuffed it with "stuff" and stashed it in her vanity! She's be stashing the Benjamin's!

The nerve of my kids. You mean this whole time, I be fronting the cash for THEIR Happy Meals? Ohh-nooo-they diiidn't.

Here this whole time I thought they were just cooking up some cookies:When in reality they were cooking up some great Ponzi scheme!

Yep. Who knew.

Well, I do give them their vitamins every day..what can I say.

The racist freak goes on to say:

"This crisis was caused by the irrational behavior of white people with blue eyes, who before the crisis appeared to know everything and now demonstrate that they know nothing."

Oh, I assure you these two know lots. I have taught them everything they know. How to steal from the rich and the poor, and give it to me. So mommy can fill up her happy places. (Medicine cabinet and wet bar)

Somehow I have been cut out of this latest scam. I didn't even know they were planning on building me that big house in the sky.

But now that I know..things are starting to make sense. I mean, just the other day I took these pictures of them:
I thought we were just having some St. Patrick's Day fun....but now I know they turned green from greed. Turned green from greenbacks!

My plan is to just lay low. Maybe no one will notice us. The last thing I need is my kids headed off to the crowbar motel. Off to get 2 hots and a cot! Who is gonna program my DVR ?

19 comments:

dizzblnd said...

I knew your kids looked too sweet and innocent for their own good. I am glad he made us all aware of what was really going on.

I am white and have blue eyes... I wonder where my stash is?

What an idiot

The Fit Dad said...

I'm white with blue eyes, but my wife and daughter both have brown eyes...

...so does that mean that I get bailout $$ while my wife and daughter just have to go to prison?

I'm totally confused.

Maybe I should paint myself like that wonderfully made movie "Soul Man" where that guy painted himself to look like a black man to get $ for college.

Douglas said...

If you could cause a recession by being freaking adorable then yes, your kids owe the world a huge apology.

Frippery said...

They are sneaking around under cover of cutie patootiness. You can't trust anyone with blue eyes and blonde hair. Ooops that would be me and my son, but hubs and daughter have dark hair and brown eyes, what a problem! I am glad someone pointed this out, I have been feeling guilty about ruling the world while not really knowing what I was doing.

Shawn said...

*raises hand* Also white with blue eyes. It's absolutely outrageous that this guy would say such a thing. I would fire off a letter of protest, but I've invited some friends over and we'll be swimming in my pool of money for most of the day.

moooooog35 said...

Blind white people could not be reached for comment.

Scandalous Housewife said...

Yeah, and I noticed how your boy has slicked back his green greed hair all Gordon Gekko-like. I can see the 'Greed Is Good'-look in his eyes!

Quirkyloon said...

Hussy..them there be two cute "greedy" kidlets!

Now as a half-white woman with brown eyes, I shoulder NONE of the blame.

heh heh

My other half? Is taco brown!

heh heh

And will your kids share the loot with their Mommy's friends? *hint hint*

We are friends, aren't we?

Hello?

Hello?

The Hussy Housewife said...

dizzbld- You to?? You are a scammer to? To drunk to remember where your stash is,huh?

Fit Dad- LOL! Sweet, yeah you better paint yourself and get some brown contact lenses. OR you could ask for bail out money$ I think..you would make more on the bail out $. Then you can afford to hire attorney for your wife and kids to get them out of jail?

Doug- Thanks. Just as long as you don't mind if we still get to keep our 10 million dollar New York apartment and 40,000 grand piano. Wouldn't that be cute?

Frippery- You and your son to!! Have you been in contact with my kids? Did they mention anything about giving some to me?

Shawn- LOL. You are to much. Ohh wait, where was my invite. BTW, I only swim in $100 bills....I have standards you know!

mooooog- That was hilarious!!

Scandalous- I am sure you saw him and tried to use your T and A moves to get some cash. I know you are out prowling around for a sugar daddy! *pssst. if you know any good ones..call me ;) *

Quirks- Thanks. My kids turned out ok. LOL. Well we are friends..so of course I will share the goods. But us white folk can't be seen sharing with you taco brown folks...so I hope you don't mind if we only get together after dark..in my closet?

The Renaissance Chick said...

So that is why you wear those glasses in your photo! You! You are the one! You are THE blue eyed breeder of those who are going to take over the world. You pop out these little perfectly beautiful mini trillionaires! The gig is up. Someone in Brazil is bound to read this comment.

Sorry!
Malisa

Da Old Man said...

At least now we all know who to blame. Thanks.

Can I have a couple million dollars?

Jormengrund said...

I need to find out where I hid my stash..

I mean, I'm white with blue eyes too..

That means that not only did I cause this, but I was able to hide it from... MYSELF!

Damn, I'm good!

Maybe I should take myself out back and beat the answer outta me!

C.B. Jones said...

on behalf of all black people who wish their eyes were blue, I forgive your irresponsible young'uns.

Just don't let it ever happen again, and everything will be cool.

Dennis the Vizsla said...

But, wait, now that they've gone green, they're off the hook, right?

dani c said...

They are soooooo cute. I just wanna give em a million kisses !!!

Alaska-womom said...

Once a friend got me a t-shirt that said, "Speak slowly I'm naturally blonde," so what, we are stupid AND responsible for the economic crisis-?-I am also confused-are we smart enough to do that? Cutie kids! Maybe we are related? By the way, I went to the Muffin Top Killers and they said I could not come and play without an invite. J.

WhisperingWriter said...

Rah-roh.

Both of my kids are white with blue eyes!

The Hussy Housewife said...

RennaChick- You totally called me out!! Crap. now I have to get to my off shore accounts and flee!

Da Old Man- Sure as long as you promise to stimulate the economy with it.

Jormen- You to?! Geez how many of you in here are white-blue eyes? Yeah no worries..I found your stash already and stole it.

CBJONES- Can you have blue eyes? Is it possible?? Hmmmm

Dennis- They should be, cause going green stimulates the economy. Since all green products cost more.

Dani- You just trying to butter them up with kisses so you can get in their will. Back OFF!! It is my money. Hey you wanna go out for drinks? It is on me!

Alaskawomom- Thanks! Good point you bring up. Maybe they think we are to blond and dumb to realize they are pinning it on us. As far as the MTKillers..yeah you have to email me and ask to join. Then I will be happy to send you the invite. You know how women are..can't let just anybody see are weight loss secrets and goals.

WhisperingWriter- I knew you were in on it to. Just by the look of your avatar! We are breeding greedy kids who will hopefully take good care of us when we are older!

Jenn Thorson said...

They sure are cute, Jamie. Angelic, looking, even... Though I'm sure that would be the stillness of the camera, given the ornery nature of their Mom. :)