For those of you still living under a old fashioned paper towel, and don't know what I am talking about. Let me give you a quick update.
Shamwow is a liquid absorbing cloth. Vince here below is the face behind the viral infomercial that has been infecting all our brains like a cheap prostitute with the "clap."Why do you need one of these absorbent towels? Well because accidents tend to happen. Just like the one that happened to Vince last month:, best known as television's ShamWow guy, was arrested in Miami last month. For beating up a prostitute. Who allegedly tried to bite his tongue out. Shlomi punched the prostitute several times until she released his tongue. Both of them were arrested on felony aggravated battery charges."
Here the SHAMEwow Vince is after the "altercation"
The first thing I though when I saw his mugshot was, "What!! Someone stole his headset!" Where is the precious headset at?
Then there is the lady in question..who tried to bite his tongue off:
I think she concocted a plan..to seduce Vince..lure him into his hotel room..proposition him for sex..then bite is tongue off so he can no longer talk!
No longer brainwash us with his Shamwow infomercials that make us crazy! She may need to plead insanity.
What? Ohh you haven't seen this 2 minute long infomercial? Well ok ..fine..just one more time though:
So this brings me to my own infomercial I will be doing for Vince. (minus the headset)
This is called the Shamelesshookerwow. I will be showcasing him some of my Hussy girls that are available.
HI! This is the Hussy Housewife.
You will Be saying WOW every time you buy one of my Hussy's.
She is like a freaky hooker, and a high priced call girl, all rolled up in one.
If your wife doesn't pay any attention to ya anymore,
this Hussy will work twice as hard, and can do any job.
Now, this ain't your Grandfathers type of hooker.
She was made in Germany..and you know Germans make all kind of good stuff.
She can clean up any stain that may arise,
even can soak up blood if she decides to bite your tongue off.
No other Hussy is gonna do that!
See what I am selling? You'll be screaming WOW every time!
If you call now with in the next 20 minutes,
Cause I can't wait here on this blog all day.
I'll even throw in this extra midget mini hooker for free.
She comes with a clean pap smear, and is small enough
to get to all your hard to reach, neglected areas.
You gonna spend $1000 a month wooing your wife anyways.
Your wife will ruin your life forever,
but my Hussy will be in your dreams forever!
Just blog, or comment now. 1-www.-thehussyhousewife.com
Now I wonder what is hiding in the Billy Mays closet?