Monday, March 30, 2009

Lurky..Lurky, Who?

Yeah...you. Lurky..Lurky..you.
Actually, you are all way better looking than him. I, in no way was saying any of you look like this Lurky. Umm....actually....I won't say what he really looks like.

No, I will.

This Lurky is playing on both teams if you catch my drift. Is a hermaphrodite. One wax deprived, confused soul. A Gyno's worst nightmare.

I am already getting sidetracked. Like I was blogging, I see all you lurker readers out there. I was just wondering who you all are? Come out, come out..where ever you lurk!

This leads me to the Hussy's next performance. A song dedication to you all. To let you now what your lurking does to me emotionally. Why I need to know who is reading/blogging me.

So please hit play on my video...and follow along with the Hussy lyrics below:



Who's watching
Tell me, who's reading
Who's blogging me

I'm just an average women
Housewife with an average life
I slack from nine to five
Hey, hell, I am worth the price
All I want is for you to say hello
At my average blog
Why do I always feel
Like I'm in the medicated zone all alone?

And (I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
I blog my privacy
Whooooa-oh-oh
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's reading me)
Tell me, is it just a medicated dream

When I blog at home late at night
I lock up my pills and booze real tight
People email on my blog
offering cash for my stash
But can the people on my computer monitor see me
Or am I just high and paranoid?

When I'm in the shower
I'm afraid to wash my hair
'Cause I might open my eyes
And find someoneblogging there
People say I'm crazy and deranged
Just a little trashed
But maybe showers remind me
Of Psycho too much
That's why

(I always feel like)
(Somebody's watching me)
I blog my privacy
Whooooa, oh-oh
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's reading me)
Who's turning tricks on the Hussy?

[Instrumental Interlude]

(Who's reading me)
I don't know anymore
Are the neighbors reading me
(Who's blogging)
Well, is the mailman reading me
(Tell me, who's watching)
And I don't feel sober anymore
Oh, I am such a mess
I wonder who's blogging me now
(Who)
The ATF?

(I always feel like)
(Somebody's blogging me)
I don't want my privacy
Whooooa, oh-oh
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's reading me)
Tell me, is it just a drug induced dream?

(I always feel like)
(Somebody's blogging me)
I don't want my privacy
Whooooa, oh-oh
(I always feel like)
(Somebody's reading me)
Who's turning tricks on the Hussy
Who's reading the Hussy Housewife?

Don't worry..I won't show up boozed, and trying to sell oranges at your work. One of the reasons for this disclosure...is I want to make another Hussy video production. Make a video of all my loyal readers. Yes....YOU! How can I do that if I don't know some of you lurkers?

So come out of your hiding, tell me a little about yourself. Well, just the good..juicy stuff. Raise your right hand and yell, "I have the sickness too!"

State your Name, Rank, and favorite kind of cereal!

34 comments:

Margo said...

Frequent lurker, first time commenter. For what it's worth, I can't see you. I love your header which always reminds me I love your blog, so I stay and read. Sometime I don't comment on blogs I really like because I just don't know what to say ... it's not a reflection of how much I like reading a particular blog. I just thought I'd say that, because it's true, and it's the kind of thing I wouldn't mind someone saying to me. On a different subject, did google maps freak you out the first time you used it and it knew EXACTLY where you were? I've never gotten over it.

Anonymous said...

Just stumbled across your blog a couple weeks ago via the AmyOops blog, and already have you in my FAVORITES. I'm looking forward to someday going through your arcives (that sounds a little dirty). Love the vintage pics and the Friday Facts. I like to spend my day off catching up with my favorite blogs and all my requests on Facebook. I'm 43 years young, married, two sons, and love Peanut Butter Captain Crunch.

Karyn

Blonde Goddess said...

I'm no lurker. You're on my blog roll for daily reads...I just don't comment all the time.

moooooog35 said...

My name is Moooooog35 and I'm an alcoholic.

Whoops.

Wrong intro.

The Exaggerator said...

Is it just me, or does the lead image remind one of the onetime Troll mascots of the Magic Mountain theme park near Los Angeles in the 1970's and well into the mid-1980's (after it was sold to Six Flags)?

Margaret said...

I found your blog by accident about a month ago, and have been addicted ever since! You are hilarious and say the things the rest want to say--out loud...

WhisperingWriter said...

I guess I'm sort of a lurker since I don't always comment.

But I do read! You amuse me.

The lurky character makes me laugh. I'm digging his unibrow.

The Hussy Housewife said...

Margo- i applaud your bravery on coming out as a lurker and first time commenter..Great to me ya! Oh, and thanks for reassuring my paranoia that you can't see me. I have never Google mapped myself yet..may have to!

Karyn- Nice ot meet ya!! Ohhhh this is soooo fun already :) I am similar in that I ♥ Captn Crunch..regular though..no peanut flavor. You have a blog?

Blond Goddess- Yes, thank you for your honesty. I would just like you to know that YES, I can see you are always naked when you read my blog. Don't worry it doesn't offend me ;)

Mooooog- You are at the right place..just he wrong time. That meeting is happening later this afternoon...in my kitchen by the kegerator. Feel free to stop by! just don't bring your sober buddy.

The Exaggerator- I wish I could convey your recollection. I am sure you are right...and you just weren't on a big acid trip back then...and just seeing things. I believe you, even if your therapist doesn't.

Margaret- Thanks!! Great to see you come out of hiding!!! I love meeting new peeps! I am glad you are hooked like crack. I hear that a lot..that I say what everyone else is thinking...which leads me to think this country is screwed..WE ARE ALL CRAZY. But at least it is not just us two anymore?

WhisperingWriter- Great to hear from ya! DO you really whisper when you write or are those the voices in your head? Just wondering...

Lurky does have a unibrow..he looks like Madonna oldest daughter ..Lordes

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

Well, first of all I love that song and any other song that came out of the 80's with a terrible, overly dramatic video to go with it. I totally have the sickness. And my favorite cereal is Cocoa Krispies, hands down. It's like dessert at breakfast, how can you go wrong?

Frogs in my formula said...

Great, now I have that song in my head. I found you from the Humor Bloggers site and pop in frequently. My name is Mrs. Mullet. My rank is Brigadier General. My favorite cereal is Special K with freeze dried red flakes they call strawberries. The end.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Hi, I'm Marcy and I like to dress up like a man. I also like to read blogs and comment only occasionally, to keep things fresh.

Love you and your blog, Ms. Hussy.

Lady Sarcasm said...

"Come out come out wherever you are" and "oranges"..

Ironically I just posted about those two things. lmao.

I belted out your lyrics and was impressed. Not by my horrid singing talents, but your impeccable writing skills. ;)

Hel said...

That Lurky Lurker looks a lot like my legs do at the moment (sans the long male anatomy part). Because you have a photo of my legs for everyone to see, I thought I had better comment.

Rank: Australian
Favourite Cereal: Weet-Bix (figure that one out)

I'm not a comment whore - meaning I am keeping my comments for that special someone I am hoping to meet someday. It's not that I don't like you, it's just that I don't see us in a long term relationship. ;)

Scandalous Housewife said...

Hello,
My name is Scandy and I am an open stalker. I have ZERO shame and/or pride.
I am a Sagittarius, free spirit, and I have no filter. Are we cool?

The Gnu said...

name: the Gnu

Rank: umm, blogger? australian? but you can call me boss ;)

Cereal: cornflakes with banana and two tablespoons of brown sugar (is there any other way?!)

also this is my first time on your blog so i don't actually lurk but i was so scared of what i may become in future i decided to comment straight away!
btw, nice blog.
love from the Gnu

dizzblnd said...

hilarious parody.. I will have to watch the video later at home.. damn employers block all the good stuff

Jormengrund said...

I've commented on here a couple of times, but I don't seem to chatter at you regularly enough!

Great job Jaime!

Name: Jorm

Rank: Not really, just took a shower!

Cereal: Honey Bunches of O's with Almonds. I can't get enough of that crap when we buy it..

The Hussy Housewife said...

Petra- Yes!! Love the 80's and their music videos..pure entertainment. Cocoa puffs..good to know. Oh and if you have the sickness..make sure to cough on everyone you see..thanks :)

Frogs- Nice to rib-it ya! I love all amphibians. When you eat Special K..does it make you feel special?? I have never had it.

Mary- WOW! that was a juicy tidbit. You can have all my pantyhose...I never wear them. Thanks for reading the Huss.

Lady Sarcasm- LOL! That is a crazy Idaho coincidence..we are linked in brain activity! I am sooo excited that you sung my lyrics out loud..sweet!

Hel- Sorry to call your legs out like that in front of everyone...I didn't know. No long term? Just a quickie?? OR just a friend with benefits?

Scandalous- HOLY MEATLOAF!! YOu totally fit in here! We are soooo cool..that Al Gore hates us!!

The Gnu- Thanks. I must say interesting cereal concoction you make..hmm Welcome to Hussyville!!

Dizz- Work-smurk..they know nothing about humor. I say quit that humor-less job! Remember to sing out loud at home when you get to watch!

jormen- Chatter away at me...
I smell nothing. Just stale beer here on my end. My hubby likes that cereal to..I have never tried it!

Venom said...

Hussy -

You know I'm your loyal fan.

I am the one who actually waits the literally hours it takes to download your special videos on a dial-up connection.

I've even featured you @ VSL, + you're on my blogroll!

You're my favourite hussy housewife.

Mike said...

I stopped lurking people after the restraining order.

So I just do it out in public.

Nice.

freetheunicorns said...

Sting wrote "Every Breath You Take" about me. Enough said.

As for Lurky, I'll say it, that nose is a penis.

The Renaissance Chick said...

Damn, I hate it when I get caught! All I was doing was looking...it wasn't hurting anybody! Okay, okay, I'll start commenting and even list you on my blog list if you will just give me a warning this time!

Blueberry Special K lover,

Malisa

longrooffan said...

Been following along for awhile with you...love the title, the content, the humor, and know, while I, too, am not a stalker nor a lurker,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyUWkQj0Q_U

this is true.

Keep up the great posts and know a whole bunch of us love you and your writing, even if we don't comment every day.

longrooffan said...

Oh Yeah, Tony the Tiger Rules!!!

Wendy said...

I'm not a lurker... I just got here. So, I'm commenting cause I'm afraid someone will think I look like that. (I do, but don't want anyone to know it.)

The Hussy Housewife said...

Venom- SWEET! I didn't know you loved me that much. Dial up is a test of truuuewwww wuuuvv!

Mike- How very normal of you. I don't mind.

Freetheunicorns- I agree with you.It is. Should we get to the bottom of it?

Renaissance Chick. Deal. Warning it is. Next time you come to class with out booze and pills for the Hussy..i get the switch!!

Longroofan- Aww..a grease tribute..for me?? I got chills..there multiplying! Now you better shape up....
nice ot meet ya!

Wendy- LOL! Welcome! As a newcomer, you are in charge of keeping my fridge and medicine cabinet fully stocked at all time!!

The Fit Dad said...

Damn. I kinda thought maybe you actually recorded you singing a song.

Here I got all excited and got my hopes up for nuttin.

I'm no lurker, but my favorite cereal is Cinnamon Life...and Frosted Flakes.

But given my profession, I don't eat them often, add to that I can't drink milk and my cereal eatin days are gone :(

Candice said...

Well, it's my first time here but I can assure you that I will be back.

:)

LadyShuttleMaker aka MadMadPotter said...

OK weirdo...I love the whole post but I have contention with one phrase in your song (which is now stuck in my head thank you very much)

"At my average blog"

Now you know your blog is not average....self deprication does not suit you!

I'm coming home in 9 days! We need milkshakes!

Riff Dog said...

Well, I'm not really a lurker, just new, that's all. But I do look almost exactly like that picture, so I should go ahead and comment.

Tell you about myself? Hmmmm . . . I don't think you really want to know that. ;)

The Hussy Housewife said...

The fit dad- Ohh..you don';t want me to sing. Not even when I am drunk singing karaoke.

Candice- Don't be a stranger!

Sherry- What? This old blog? Yeah, I am excited..we just where there yesterday..and we all had one!! But I will need another in 9 days!

Riff Dog- remember..don't be shy. Only give the juicy stuff...

Angie Clark said...

You have a stocked fridge? And medicine cabinet? Be. Right. Over.

Okay, so I'm Angie, I do not blog but I read other people's blogs maniacally (is that bad?) and I am a mini-van destroying SUV driver my own self.

Favorite cereal: Lucky Charms when I'm off of the wagon, Kashi go-lean crunch when I'm on it

I shall try to de-lurk more often. Here's my problem: I get a batch of time, sign up for stuff and get all excited (like the lose the muffin top blog) and forget to go back for three days. guess where I'm going next...???

:)

The Hussy Housewife said...

Angie- Sweet...come on over! I will keep'em cold for ya!! We have plot which minivans to run over!!

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Is this possible?