Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Dwights Own Work Space

Really..can you imagine? I know..I know you can.
So last time we left my drunk and deranged cronies , my pirate LeatherFace and Dwight...Dwight was in trouble with the Hussy. For breaking his Hussy House arrest.

He tried to buy me off with his lucky rabbit's foot that smelled like WD40, but had been in his family for generations. Ummm, I don't drink so.

So I decided to put him, my lead Hussy lobbyist, to work as punishment. I told him, "Get to your office and research the pros and cons of me getting google analytics. I want a full PowerPoint presentation in the morning!" By which we replied, "I don't have a office." All you don't think I forgot about this. I promised him his own Office Space. I will deliver. I can do some labor...when I want to. If I can make a pipe out of a pop can, I can surely pull this off.

I have been working on Dwight's new office like Joan Rivers works on her face. The office may even turn out just as messed up looking.

First we need some supplies:

Scissors and Hussy work gloves
Yeah, a girl has gotta look good. That brown spot on the gloves may just be a chocolate stain.
Before demolition:
First 2 minutes, We got a desk, walls, chair, and book shelf:

Now time to add a few essentials. Like pictures of loved ones. A name plate. Company slogans and motto's:

Hussy Corporation Motto:"It rubs the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again."

Dwight must read this every morning when he gets to work. I like everyone to be moist.

Time for Hussy to bling this box out! Whaaa Laaaaa!

What do you think? Think he likes it?

He now has his office right next to mine. Now I can hear/see all his bribing, lobbying, payoffs, undercover work, crossbow skills, ninja and weaponry skills with ease. I can even smell his deer musk and urine he wears everyday to the office while I blog. You know, in case Red Dawn comes and we have to retreat to the Hussy Bunker. A survivalist is always prepared to kill for food:

He did a great Google Analytics presentation too. Numbers look good. May need more shipments of booze and pills to keep up with the demand though. Or maybe that was just me and LeatherFace again.


Quirkyloon said...

Well thank goodness you found his jello stapler.

No office is complete without one!

hee hee

Venom said...

Am I the only one that thinks Dwight is hot?
Hussy, you look a little like Angela....

*Just Jen* said...

HA! This is great! You are too funny!

Scandalous Housewife said...

Pretty damn good, only I was waiting for you to BeDazzle the shit out of it! I've got the BeDazzler, the one by Ronco, if you need to borrow...

Jade Bordeaux said...

OMG!!! I cant believe how funny this is....I am so "hussified" from now on!

The Hussy Housewife said...

Quirks- Yes of course. I SWEAR I didn't put his calculator in the jello. I smell a pirate!!

Venom- I do TOO! Yeah, me and Angela wouldn't get a long to well. Not to mention I HATE cats..am allergic to them. My friend from high school,Rainn Wilson is his cousin and he visits him all the time. I am gonna convince him to take me with him. You wanna come?

Just Jen- You watch the Office? If not, that is a Hussy ORDER!!!

ScandHouse- We are on the same brain wave length. I was gonna BeDazzel it, but Dwight walked out on me with the decision. And with economy right now, and Hussy Stocks down..I couldn't afford to loose my lobbyist. In die time though..you wanna help?? I don't have a BeDazzler.

Jade- Thanks!! You look like a hot mama. You need a job? Hussy may need some help around here, LOL! Glad you made it over from my test blog!!

Jormengrund said...

So when are you going to get the 'Cap his very own minibar?

It's not fair to him for Dwight to get a nice copycat office, and poor Leatherface has to still go and make a nuisance of himself in public...

Yeah, I stick up for the drunk underdogs of the world.. That's how I roll!

CH!CA said...

Perhaps Dwight can come up with a few ideas on saving on the shipping of booze and pills. That or he can sit there and just look geeky. :)

Mike said...





Frippery said...

You are killin me! I so needed a laugh. It puts the lotion ... OMG I am busting a gut, Thanks, Pam

VE said...

I think he made up those stat numbers. Office people always do...

LadyShuttleMaker aka MadMadPotter said...

You are such a dork! I guess it runs in the family!

The Queen said...

OK here's the deal. I need a new office for Cletus,, with a few tweeks.. can you put bars on it.. and a bar in it.. with a tv and remote all his own..and maybe a couple strippers just to keep him entertained while I talk to the pool boy??

Oh you can,, well good,, send me an estimate... but really, You do great work so money is no object.. I'd project the cost high.. we can always come in under budget to impress him..


The Hussy Housewife said...

Jormen- YOu are sooo right. Believe me, LeatherFace soes have his own place. I like to root for the underdog too. I will have to blog ans show his digs :) Argh!

Chica- This would be a great assignment for him. We need to cut costs around here.

Mike- Of course that is the only word that stood out to you. Here is the lotion, and try not to make a mess.

Frippery- Glad to be at your service. I am pleased to know you busted a gut..that is a great feeling..and burns calories.

VE- what are you trying to say? That Dwight is trying to pull the silk over my eyes..that my numbers may be in the toilet?

Sherry- Yes, the rotten apples don't fall to far from the burning tree!

Queen- Sure, no problem. Has to be under the table though. Me and the IRS don't get along. OR paying me in booze and pills may be just fine.

Jean said...

Okay now I know who you really are, I'll keep the lips closed but its going to cost you and I do mean cost you a lot to keep these lips shut. You can reach me at well you know where to get me. Yes and don't be telling Dwight either cause he really can't help you this time.

Blonde Goddess said...

Are you SURE that's chocolate on the glove?

I'm not so certain....

Chat Blanc said...

girl I'm lovin' Dwight's new work space!! in fact, I'm all moist about it. :D

dizzblnd said...

You are so damned creative and funny. Great combination! I love your imagination and I am sure Dwight would approve

The Hussy Housewife said...

Jean- I will send a secret coder with my message for you to read.

BlondGodess- Weeeeeell, maybe it was something else. I will never tell!

Chat- LMAO!!! Ohh Dwight made you moist!!

Dizz- Thanks for the love. I told Dwight what you said, he wanted me to ask if you would like to come over for Green River on ice. He thinks you look a lot like Angela.

K said...

I think I need a mini office next to mine now too - I get a bit lonely working from home.

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