This is the Hussy Housewife blogging.
I am here on blogging business.
Official Hussy blogging business.
Blogging you all a PSA of sorts.
Here to help my friend Dani over at "Mom' s Crazy Life" crunch some numbers.
To help get Mr. Crazy Dani stimulated.
As some of you already know, the Hussy Housewife ♥'s Dani. I am willing to help Dani in anyway I can. She is one of my best blogging buddies out there. She is a hardcore, and always has the Hussy's back. Hardcore as in...if we where in the grade school cafeteria....and someone was trying to steal my cherry flavored Capri Sun ...Dani would TOTALLY bust a training bra strap. Put her jelly glitter wearing foot up their arse for me.
So with that kind of loyalty, I have decided to help Dani fullfill a life long dream of hers. As we all know she calls herself the "President of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee." She has been dreaming of a new pair of girls for a while. This dream has been low on the list of priorities. She is to busy
Dani claims her boobs are like this:
(○) (○) umm I mean (.) (.) and she wants them like this ( ○ ) ( ○ )
Whoaaaa....TUNE IN TOKYO!
I have tried to help Dani out before with this issue. Give her good advice on how to properly stuff her training bra. Tried to lend her a chicken cutlet to stuff in there out of my freezer. Told her to keep it towards the bottom and outside of each cup. To sew it in to keep yourself safe from embarrassment or vegans. That wasn't enough for her, she wanted more. I was happy to give her my left one in exchange for a guest post on my blog, since I have been blessed with two large lactating devices. Two large milk jugs. I had enough milk to go around, to add to her morning coffee A-cup. Well then that didn't work either, she just kept leaning to the left and walking in circles. Getting dizzy and falling down. people thought she was a drunk like me.
This is where my PSA starts. My Public Service Announcement to all you who also belong to the Itty Bitty Titty Committee. While I am helping Dani achieve her life long goal of no longer having to lift, fold, and tuck her twins into the bra, I want to help you all out there too. So I came up with a plan on how you can afford the implants. You can thank Obama for this one. I got 4 words for ya:
Yep, I will be showing you all how the stimulus package will be paying for these new cupcakes. How all your husbands will be getting their own massive "stimulus package."
It involves the $13 a week part of the stimulus. Here is how it works and the math:
A average boob job cost about $5,500. So you just take the $13 dollars you get a week now and put them in a savings account. Double that if you have a hubby who works to. IF he is gonna get a massive stimulus package out of this..he needs to fork over his $13 a week to. Since Mr. Crazy Dani works to....Dani has $26 a week going into her "Fun Bags here we COME!" fund.
So $26 x 52 weeks a year = $1352 a year. $5,500 •/• by $1352 = 4 years till surgery!
So go help Dani get her new boobs:
Pay Your Part in the 2009 Stimulus Boob Project. Do your taxes today!