Red Rover, Red Rover, Andy..come fly over!

I know, I know I have been MIA. What are you gonna do about it? Come get me? You don't know where I live......or do you? Damn Google Earth.

I have been out on a few secret Ops. missions that I am not at liberty to discuss at this very moment. However, I will be updating all you with the crazy goings-ons around here. It has been a very busy, busy, last 5 days or so. I have so many things to blog about, and so many unfinished blogs still in draft mode to post. I know, my brain never stop writing in my crazy head. Make the voices go away!

This particular post has moved up in the ranks to Major (wink,wink, Andy)...do to new intelligence received this Tuesday. Intelligence like family calling and threatening my life if I don't let them take a gander at some video I shot on Monday of my cousin Andy flying his fighter jet over the lovely town of Kooskia.

Oh, I am sorry. You were one of the many unaware, sleeping citizens in the area that was woken out of bed at 9:30 am with the fear that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the president of Iran had made his move, and WW III had officially began. I guess you didn't get the memo. Try to stay on your A game next time.

I must set the scene for you all. You see, Andy and my cousin Sherry who I have blogged about before moved to Boise a few years ago. Andy flies fighter jets for the Air Force, and was relocated to beautiful Idaho. Yeah I know, retired professional snowboarder who lands a 900, and then the adrenalin junkie goes off to fly and land fighter jets. Go figure. I guess it is that or end up at thrill seeker's anonymous.....which I am sure doesn't pay well. Since their stay here, he has always wanted to plan a fly over at our grandparents house.

They got the news that all military families just love to hear...time to move! So it was time to do this, fly over was scheduled at: 0930 - 1030 hours. Being the lead flight guy (code for in charge but don' t know the military jargon) that plans the flight plans..he set the date, and we were there. I drove down the river to film this moment for my grandparents, and it was a beautiful sunny day for a drive. I got up early, and got off on a great start.......Oh, aside from the little tiny hang up of my daughter getting car sick on the way up, and puking all over. "Nothing like the smell of fermented strawberry yogurt in the morning to get the blood running" I always say. Sorry if you just puked in your mouth and swallowed it ;)

So to make this long story short......we got there, sat up shop, the kids threw rocks and snacked, waited about 20 minutes, and heard them ah' coming. Here is my movie I made for them.

WARNING: Do to the fact I was the only person within a 1/2 mile radius that could operate a digital camera, and video camera (at the same time), serving as nanny of 2, and snack mom, there is a short piece that may remind you of the Blair Witch Project. Cut a girl some slack!

I edited out the sound to make way for my tunes, but they were LOUD!! Andy, I heard you got promoted to Major. We are proud of you. Keep showing us that you eat Taliban militants for breakfast!! Cormac was really excited to see you fly over. He wanted to fly with you. When I told him he couldn't, he started to cry. Way to break his heart Andy:) We will miss you guys, and pray for your safe return. Keep in touch and drop a cuz a line sometime.

Friday Facts

1.Los Angeles' full name is: El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angles de Porciuncula.

2. Cincinnati was so famous for its hog industry in the 1830s that it was nicknamed "Porkopolis."

3. The world's first female telephone operator was named Emma M. Nutt.

4. The world's 1st "motor-hotel", the Milestone Mo-Tel, opened in San Luis Obispo, CA, in 1925.

5. See for yourself: Sitcom characters on TV rarely say goodbye when they hang up the phone.

6. In case you were wondering: The little flap in the back of your throat is called a uvula.

7. Women have Adam's apples, too. Men's are larger to accommodate their longer vocal cords.

8. Government stats: The poorest county in the U.S. is Shannon County, South Dakota.

9. Number of degrees a bowling pin needs to tilt in order to fall down: 7.5

10. Our experts say: In your lifetime, you'll sleep about 220,000 hours.

Gin In My Apron Pocket: Taking Advice From Oompa Loompa's

Oompa Loompa doompadee doo
I've got another puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa doompadah dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me.

Yes in our house we go by the Oompa Loompa rules and regulations on Sweets, spoiled children, gum chewing, and the famous unpaid babysitter.....the TV.

I must in particular take heed to this lesson:


What do you get when you guzzle down sweets
Eating as much as an elephant eats
What are you at, getting terribly fat
What do you think will come of that
I don't like the look of it

Actually no one likes the look of it except chubby chasers. So why must I in particular take heed to these lessons this week? Curse the Bunco girls! I fear it may be a big conspiracy theory. They all decided to not eat very much candy at Bunco night.....thus forcing me to bring home loads and loads of chocolate into my home.....thus making my butt and gut grow at a alarming speed, and my children beg and bounce off the walls! I know they are trying to make me fat and crazy!! What a great combo that would be. Typical women though, complain and complain, then you give them what they want and they don't want that anymore!! Don't worry, I am on to them and will be planning my revenge soon if my pants size goes up a notch.....

Some other great advice to you out there:

What do you get from a glut of TV?
A pain in the neck and an IQ of three
Why don't you try simply reading a book?
Or could you just not bear to look?
You'll get noYou'll get noYou'll get noYou'll get noYou'll get no commercials!

Who do you blame when your kid is a brat
Pampered and spoiled like a siamese cat
Blaming the kids is a lie and a shame
You know exactly who's to blame
The mother and the father

Oompa Loompa doompety da
If you're not spoiled then you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa doompety do

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

That is right...Chloe PEED in the Toilet!! WoooHooo! It is every mothers dream day, the beginning of the end. End of diapers and my diaper champ. I noticed she hadn't peed yet this morning and new the morning pee would soon becoming, so I asked her is she wanted to go pee pee or poo poo in the toilet. She said yes. She had her doll in her arms and asked if I would hold it for her as she climbed on the toilet seat. She sat down and I handed her her doll back, she paused and then.......sweet baby jesus......see peed. She had the look of shock at the whole feeling and sound of it all. Very cute.I know, I know, poor doll, huh? For some reason she had her doll naked too. I congratulated her and so did big brother, and called daddy. She got a treat and then for the moment I have been waiting for: I put her big girl undies on!! She looked sooo cute in them. This unforeseen euphoria only lasted temporarily. 15 minutes later, son came running to me, "Mommy, Mommy, Chloe pooped in her underwear!" SHE DID!! Running to the scene. Sure enough, pulling a load around. Back to reality, cleaning up poop undies. O'well it was good while it lasted. Just like most pleasures in life, right men?

My Sex Deprived Bunco Girls

Tonight I am hosting our BUNCO group. 16 great, wonderful women, and apparently sex deprived, and menstrual women. No pre-menopausal girls in this group. This brought back a memory of the last time I hosted.

There are many theories as to why women crave chocolate. One of the main reasons out there is, if you are lacking sex, you then crave chocolate. I am not for sure. All I know is last time my friend Andrea (AKA Innocent victim due to my short-comings) and I hosted BUNCO, there was almost a riot, and I was nearly burned at the stake. Why?

Well lets just say when I went and bought all the candy for the tables, I failed to buy any chocolate morsels. OH FUDGE! Thus began the hostile take over. Having 16 girls in one room threatening to kill if their demands for chocolate are not meant is a scary situation to be in. I felt like a Protestant at the Salem Witch Trials. I did nearly see my life flash before my eyes, and if I wasn't like 7 months pregnant at the time, I fear they may have acted upon their chocolate vendetta.

All was well as we fed the ladies and enjoyed our dinner and company. We finished up, and got ready to play the game. I put the candy out on the tables, and that's when all their panties got in a bunch. The Salem Witch Trials thus began. SO in my pathetic defense, I was prego and when that happens I crave all my favorite foods and sweets from my childhood. So I had bought Nerds, Hot Tamales, Starbursts, Smarties, and other non-chocolate items. Also I thought I was doing their waist lines and butts a favor. Needless to say in all my BUNCO years I have never be able to out love my "Chocolate" incident.

Soooo, tonight I made sure they will have chocolate. I bought lots of it. It will be a chocolate extravaganza. It will be like Chocolate Rain:

I will let you all know how it goes, and if you find yourself craving chocolate, here are a few other thoughts as to why:

-Women crave chocolate when on their monthly cycle, because chocolate puts us in a good mood. Hence, encourage your wife to eat chocolate during those 'special times'. She will be much easier to get along with.
-There are many reported reasons why people crave chocolate. One belief is that your body may be deficient in magnesium (chocolate contains magnesium).


-A chocolate craving for women may be from hormonal changes before and during women's menstrual periods. Some believe chocolate may raise brain serotonin levels. Others believe a shortage of B vitamins can trigger a craving for chocolate.

Friday Facts

1. Immediately after the last episode of "M*A*S*H*", New York City's sewer flow increases by 320 million gallon-the equivalent of 1 million toilets flushing simultaneously.

2. Long live the King: 13 countries around the world have issued Elvis Presley postage stamps.

3. More than 50% of Americans believe in the devil; 1 in 10 say they've talked to him personally.

4. Claim to Fame: Grand Rapids, Michigan, was the first city to fluoridate its water supply.

5. Owls are the only birds that can see the color blue.

6. McDonalds hires 45 Ph.D. scientists to help it develop "carrot sticks" in 1991.

7. "Smut" gets its name from a fungus that lives on corn kernels.

8. Which George Washington portrait is more accurate, the $1 bill or the quarter? The quarter.

9. The original Gotham City was a mythical English town whose residents were extremely stupid.

10. Coney Island was once full of rabbits, which New York's colonist called "coneys."

Gin In My Apron Pocket: Only Slightly Overweight

So if you are in the mood for a good laugh, at my expense of course, you have come to the right place. I got the best news this Wednesday. I had to go the the Hospital to pick up a copy of my chest x-rays and the ER doctor and Radiologist's diction and notes from this visit. I was going to visit Dr. Auntie, and we wanted to have a look at my sexy bones ourselves.

What must one do to obtain these valuable and expensive medical documents and paraphernalia? Call hospital medical records, "yes, you must come to the second floor, present ID and sign a release. We close by 4:30. You then have to go to the first floor to the radiology department to pick up x-ray and they are open late". Sounds like a wild goose chase while towing a 3 6/12ths and 1 6/12ths, year olds around.

They of course want to know why you want these. Heh sister, I paid you over $300 for this visit, know hand them over! I am gonna put these precious artifacts in a safe and will them to my children. They ask, "Are they for your doctor?" So I say, "yes they are for my doctor, jeez". Technically it is none of their business, they have to give you a copies of everything if you ask. If I want to sell them on Ebay...it is my business.

The lady at the medical records asked if I just wanted that visit or all my history. I thought hell, give it all to me. It could make great reading material at night before I go to bed. Finding out all the observations from 2 c-sections and other ER visits. I encourage all my fellow GIMAP girls to go get a copy of your medical records, it is great entertainment. Why? Oh, just for instance here are a few excerpts from my last visit from the ER Doctor under the Objective section:

"Jamie is a well-developed, well-nourished, slightly overweight, generally healthy-appearing, and very pleasant 29 year old female."

OR in lame man terms, Jamie is a large breasted, ain't missed a meal, chubby, nice young lady. Ahhh, how nice.

Let me just break down this jargon down for you so you can full understand what she was trying to say.

1. Well-developed- AKA big tits. Yes, I must admit I was blessed with some good size lactating apparatuses, and do not belong to the "itty bitty titty committee".

2. Well-nourished- AKA as I don't look like I had skipped too many meals, or am living in a 3rd world country. Or nice way of saying they have enough fat storage to make it through a famine or hard winter.

3. Slightly-overweight- Quite frankly that was the best news I have heard in a while. Only "Slightly" woohoo! My muffin top in fading. Better than "morbidly obese" Right?

Another excerpt, under the plan: "Discussed the findings with patient and her attending, who I believe is her mother."

Haah, they think my older sister is my MOM? That is also great news. I either look really young (and well nourished as previously discussed) or she looks really old. My aunt and I got a good laugh out of that one. I called my sister up to of course rub some salt in the wounds, and call her mommy.

Oh here is one of the many pictures of my sexy ribs:

The dark spot to the bottom right is bile gas. Umm, I guess I was full of hot air that night!
I can't wait to read up on my other visits. Should be a good time.

Another Frank Constanza moment.

You know, a Serenity now, Serenity NOW" moment like this one from the good ol' post files. Interesting enough this one also involves my lovely dog. Do you see a pattern here? Maybe the dog needs to go bye bye, don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out, don't call me I'll call you, Qosh sau bolyngdar, Sau bolnynyz, Sau bol, Sayonara, Adiós, Good Bye, See you later, Take care, Until Next Time (umm maybe not this one.) You get the point?

Nooo, all you animal lovers, I do love him and he is my responsibility. I took him on, so I must follow through, even if it is my own demise or sanity in the end. But sometimes can't I picture my peaceful (I am sure it would be) life without him? I am sure that is the ONLY solution to regaining my sanity, right? Or maybe no dogs, some Zoloft, booze and counseling could do the trick? I am sure we will never know.

SO on to the latest installment of the Lord Louie book:

Chapter 2: Louie Snoring = No sleep for Jamie.

That is right, my English Bulldog snores. Not just a sweet, cute snore. A very loud, obnoxious snore! It was a great way to kick off my Monday, I tell ya. So needless to say I didn't get a very good night sleep. Louie's dog bed is at the end of the hall, and he usually stays there all night. For some reason (conspiracy to make me crazy), he decided half way through the night to go lay in front of my door and saw logs all night! I woke up several times to the sound of him making cord after cord of wood. Enough to last all winter. But I had that, "I am too tired to even get up and do something about it" problem. At least until it was 6 am, I finally got up and told him to go on his bed. By that time it was to late to catch up on rest....time to start the week off in true Louie style.

I now know what my husband has been complaining about. See since my first pregnancy, I started snoring and it has not gone away. I know it it is because I need to loose the rest of my baby weight. But since my latest addiction to Strawberry Jello Pretzel Salad, I am afraid he will have to continue to suffer.

So I decided to videotape his snoring so you could really get the full effect. Turn up the volume, you don't want to miss this. The video starts and ends with a good loud one, and in the middle I fear he may be suffering from sleep apnea! He looks like he is not breathing and killing what few brain cells he had left! HELP!

I may need to research and see if I can get him some "Breathe Right Nasal Strips" for him so I can sleep. More blogging on Louie to come.

Binky is really a 4 lettered word, despite what your 1st grade math skills tell you!

On Saturday evening we implemented "Operation Binky Fairy". Let me explain. When Cormac was young, I was the mom that refused to let him have a Binky. I didn't want him to get attached to it and have to break that attachment later. So he never had one till he was older. When he was over a year old, I was going on a road trip and brought one along to make my life easier. Then he was hooked. Notice the words "make my life easier" that is a oxymoron when it comes to Binky's. For at some point the tables turn on you and your sanity relies on that stupid plastic vice. Curse the Binky!!

These are just a few of the panic stricken phrases that will now become you new language:
Where is the Binky?
Have you seen a Binky lying around here?
Do you know where a Binky is?
HELP!!!
Where is my secret stash?
Are their any left?
Will someone find the Binky!!!
I know that Binky was around here some where.
Did you check under the crib?

What happened to making my life easier?? He never had any attachments, no blankie, Binky, stuffed toy...nothing. Then I go and kick myself and give him a Binky?? What was I drunk?

He doesn't suck on one all day, just for naps and bedtime, but I didn't want him growing up with a addictive personality and ending up in rehab talking to Dr. Drew. I figure the Binky is a gateway drug just like Mary Jane is. It starts out as a comfort, then you start filling that comfort void with food, drugs, sex, etc. They comes rehab, and there goes your college fund to pay for it. NO, The vice must be stopped NOW!

No buckteeth, but the dentist told us to get rid of it like 1 1/2 years ago....oooppps. I always had a excuse: We were always going on a trip, sister was born, concentrating on potty training, to traumatic, etc. I think I ended up addicted to that stupid plastic thing, at least emotionally!! We needed a 12 step program, and FAST! So we sent him to BA (Binky's Anonymous), but he relapsed. I guess you relapse a average of 3 times :)

So that brings me to the Binky Fairy (Note: not some guy off BRAVO network showing up to teach your child about style and fashion). I was so over it. He didn't need it any more, so when he asked for a bike, I swung into action! Operation Binky went as follows:

Talked to son for a whole week about being a big boy and what that means..NO BINKY! That he needed to get a gift bag, and go around the house and find all his Binky's to put in the bag. We then give the bag to the Binky fairy by putting it outside. When you are sleeping, the BF will take the bag and give all your Binky's to the new babies that need them. In place of the Binky's she brings you a gift!! So we took him the store to pick out which bike he wanted. He wanted a bike and Diesel (a Thomas Train). So I printed off a picture of the bike he picked out and Diesel and we put them in the bag too so the BF would know what he wanted. Put it outside and then waited to see how bedtime would go.

He cried, "I don't want a bike or Diesel, I want my Binky back." "I don't want to give my Binky's to the Binky Fairy." But he got over it, and went to bed. I then went and wrote him a letter from the BF, and put it along with a bike, Diesel, Helmet, and arm and knee pads in place of the bag of Binky's. Off to bed. In the morning he was happy to see his loot from the BF. I read him the letter from the BF, and told him how proud of him we were! That night when he went to bed he said, "I don't need a Binky. I am a big boy now." WooHoo. That wasn't so bad, now why did it take so long to do it? Now I am going straight to Chloe!!

Spent all Week trying to save the world in 4 minutes Madonna. Here is what you missed....

A busy,busy weekend. A wedding, a Binky Fairy, a new guitar, a crop, a 39 steps and Murrs show, yard work, the park, first bike lesson, a one-legged seagull, and outside fun!!

Yes it is official: Wedding season has begun. We attended our first one of the year Saturday. We already have two more save the date invites and it is only APRIL!! As we got dressed and ready, Grandpa H called and told the boys to come over because he had a surprise for Cormac. Grandpa got Cormac his first real acoustic guitar!! Pictures to come. He was pretty excited and him and daddy played it until it was time for the vows. Cormac played with the guitar tuner while Matt was playing the song he has been writing for me for the last 10+ years. By now I figure this is just a big line of bullsh*t, and apparently since we have been together for 11+ years and have two kids, I fell for it. But that is a whole other blog I guess. *Love you sweetie pie*
It was a beautiful ceremony and great weather. This is a picture of Cormac before we left:He decided he was going to get dressed up and pose for pictures, that or he was gonna hit on some toddlers. All he knew is he was going to see teacher Becky get married and go to the park. The second part is all he needed to hear. While at the reception he became quite the little model. He found the the cameraman and stalked him for a while. He stood right in front of the camera and posed for at least 15 minutes. He was cracking us up. I think he thought the guy was there for him. When the guy would move....Cormac would move to with the camera. Poor guy couldn't shake this little poser! He never wants me to take his picture at home?

That evening we implemented "Operation Binky Fairy". Full story to follow soon, but Cormac kicked the habit and got his first bike. Look at the shock system on this bike:What kind of riding do they think my 3 year old is going to be doing? The next day we went to the park so he could ride his new bike. That lasted about 5 minutes! So we played in the park and took a nice walk. We also fed the ducks, geese,seagulls, and looked for Yellow-bellied Marmots. Yes I must admit I did participate in this horrible crime. I could hear the voice of my college ornithology teacher, Jane Waterman, in my head cursing me out about how bad it is for the birds as I threw a vanilla wafer in the pond. As I helped poison the wildlife and helped in giving them type II diabetes, I saw this one-legged, Heather Mills seagull: We watched him for a while as he tried to get the sympathy feeding from us. Just about when we were about to give into the poor Heather Mills seagull, who probably couldn't afford to fly first class.....he let down the leg! Can you believe it? The tricks these birds come up with these days to scam you for some food. I was quit impressed with his ingenuity.

Then we enjoyed playing in the yard with the kids. Cormac is driving and has no license, you can see the fear in Chloe as she (like a typical women) looks at the speedometer to see how fast he is going....watch out:
The 40 some quaking Aspen tress we planted two summers ago are blooming. So pretty:And lastly, we finally had to take care of our beloved dog Biltz's doghouse. As some of you know we lost him last November, and is really how I got started in blogging. Cheap therapy. I know it had been 5 months, but we couldn't really bring ourselves to go and clean out his doghouse, blankets, and dog bed. I actually wouldn't even go outside to the backyard where I found him for months. So we finally went threw that process Sunday night. Very sobering. He was a beautiful dog (tear). I still can't really talk or blog about him without getting teary:( Hope everyone enjoyed their weekend.

Friday Facts

1. Poll results: U.S. bartenders say they hear more complaints about work that and other subject.

2. The Danish flag, used since the 13th century, is the oldest unchanged national flag in existence.

3. According to one study, the "average American" is a 32.7-year-old women who likes potato chips, weighs 134 pounds, believes in the devil, and has sex about 5 times a month.

4. According to most pollsters, it's easier to get a person to disclose intimate details about their private life than it is to get them to tell you how much money they make.

5. Alibi means "elsewhere" in Latin.

6. Estimated number of one room schoolhouses in Nebraska: 300.

7. Your body creates as much as two quarts of saliva daily.

8. The life span of a taste bud is 10 days.

9. What's a ermine? A weasel whose coat has turned white for the winter.

10. 5 most persuasive words in the English language: discover, easy, guarantee, health, and results.

TGIT- Thank Goodness it's Thursday

The Office is baaaaccck!

This is what it would look like if my two Thursday night vices drank to much tequila and had a one night stand. They would produce a beautiful-comedic-suspenseful-mysterious child.

No? The purpose of this post is to celebrate the fact that The Office is finally back with new episodes tonight!! Dunder Mifflin is up and running paper like a 5k fun-run. LOST is still re-runs till the end of the month, but I will take what I can get. I could use some humor in my life right now. Oh how I have missed my Dwighty. I blogged I would start dedicating my Thursday's to very mind opening and helpful Dwightisms. Last time we learned about what kind of damage a spud gun can do. I thought only Idahoans like myself knew what a spud gun was. Apparently many people are aware of spud riffles, and what kind of damage they can do. I hope many of you learned the importance of ID badges in your workplace. Knowledge is POWER people. So here is some more information on guns from Dwight:

Slang Word of the Week

OK students, here is the slang word of the week. Remember you read the definition, and post in the comments a sentence in which YOU use the word. You will be "talking street" in no time!

You guys are doing so mad sweet.

WORD OF THE WEEK: keep it real

My sentence: I wish all these presidential candidates would just keep it real, and get to the real issue. Maybe even work on lowering gas prices!

Gin In My Apron Pocket: My Life Coach

Last night I had a meeting with my life coach. I have had one for the last 6 months, and go see him at least once every few weeks. Why you ask do I need one of these? Well OBVIOUSLY you haven't been reading this blog long. So here is a quick run-down on just a few reasons as to why I have one:


Ahhhh...deep breath! That is just a few reasons. It pretty much sums up my daily life.

Anyway, It really helps to have someone to bounce your life off of and get a different prospective. Oh, and he also rocks!! Why? Last night I told him about my new precious "Plan A" of mine that I have recently started implementing in my life. You know, a nice cold beverage and music while I cook dinner. He thought it was great, and prescribed me to drink it up!! They are now officially doctor's orders!! Of coarse he knows I do not have a addictive personality, and that I wouldn't let it get out of control. So now have orders to take my "medicine" when I need it to wind down from a bad day. Other great prescriptions from my Life Coach:

1. Hire a house keeper. Yep, he said I deserve one to help keep my stress down.
2. That I have to get out of the house at least two times during the week.
3. Make plans every weekend for just me, so I can get a break! Sounds Like a permanent excuse to scrapbook every weekend!

To all my fellow Gin in My Apron Pocket girls, you all should try to get one of these..or even find a door greeter at Walmart to talk too. What ever it takes. You will be glad you did. That way when you tell your hubby you have to:
Leave the house, drink every night, get a house keeper, or nanny, install a kegerator in your kitchen, get a massage every week, go on a shopping spree, ....it is doctor's orders!

No Monthly Flow = Let the Good Times Roll!

Warning: If you are of the male species DO NOT READ!

I only say that because if most men our like mine, he doesn't like to talk about Ol' Aunt Flow around the house. Well, lets just say when Aunt Flow comes to visit, I am down for the count the first day. So two weekends ago I had planned to attend a crop. All was packed and well, then Aunt Red came to town. I ended up not being able to go. I was so bummed. She can really throw me for a loop at times. SO I dedicate this video to Aunt Flow: "I Don't Like You, But I Love You".

Hate you because you suck, but love you because it means I am not pregnant! It is a love hate relationship we share. Think about you all month to see if you are gonna come visit, and when you do...I want you gone!!!

She left town this last week and couldn't ruin my weekend. So after my appointment Friday, I packed up for a 8 hour crop. I invited a great friend and we had a blast! I will slowly suck her into my cropping world. Tee Hee. I got only 4 layouts done in that time. Slacker. Too busy eating relaxing and gabbing. Then on Sunday went to another crop. Aunt Red can't take all the fun away. Here is a two page layout that says, "Great Grandparents"

Jamie's Episode 7: Chat with the Radiologist

In the previous post, I failed to mention that after I started that big project and mess of clothing...I had to quite to go to my ultrasound appointment. Wait....HOLD THE TRAIN!! I am not pregnant, not that type of ultra sound. One for my left sister. As part of the "Year of Jamie Project", I finally made the appointment that my "girly" doctor had requested of me back in January when I saw him. I wanted to have the ultrasound mainly for peace of mind. To make sure the pain I was having was either a clogged duct gone bad or related to my shingles since it is close to the crime scene. Nothing life threatening.

As I arrived, and was taken in to dis-robe, the tech wanted to get the details of what had brought me to this lovely appointment. "Well sir, I have this strange fetish of having complete strangers have a look at the twins." Kidding, I gave him the lovely details of my all my doctor's visits, shingles and a snowboarding accident. He said that the radiologist may want to do a mammogram. What? HOLD THE TRAIN again! I didn't sign up for the "squish my boob as flat as a pancake" appointment!!! No, no, no, you are not getting me in their for that I tell him. I didn't bring my whisky courage for that little procedure. He said he would have the radiologist come talk to me.

I then had to repeat all my stories again. The problem was that when my girly doctor got to 2nd base with me, I couldn't remember if he felt a lump or not. I just knew he wanted me to get a ultrasound, and I ignored that request for the last 4 months in hopes I would start feeling better. In the mean time I was diagnosed with shingles and had a snowboarding accident to compliment matter more. Also, I couldn't remember exactly when the pain started.

Soooooooo, we chatted for about 30 minutes about the exposure to the radiation for the mammogram, and about all the scenarios and options. That being said, I left with getting nothing done!! It was kinda like Amy Winehouse's rehab record. During the conversation I changed my mind several times: I'm in-no,out-in-out-in-out. In my best Amy Winehouse impersonation..."They tried to make me get a mammogram, and I said no, no,no" .

I agreed to finish my lovely shingles medication and then go back to gyno for another "cop a feel". I then promised if he felt something I would come back for the boob special: A mammogram with a side of ultrasound. That is progress on my health, right Gin tippers??

Ebay Season at Our House

I am purging!!! Today at my house is Ebay/Spring Cleaning! I am officially getting rid of all my children's clothes that have taken over my house. It is getting out of control, and hubby wants these tubs gone. It is always hard for me to part ways with their clothes for some weird reason. I feel like I am loosing a piece of their childhood. I know I need therapy, and they are just "clothes". However, as you paw through them you remember times of the past, "Awww I remember when they wore that".

Normally I always had a excuse for this hoarding these clothes like a bulimic hoarding Twinkies. Like after Cormac, "I have to save them in case we have another boy, honey". Then we found out we were having a girl....time to buy more clothes and more tubs!! Then I had tubs and tubs of girl AND boy clothes, you know in case we decide to have a third child. I have finally gotten to the point of who cares, I will just buy more if we have a third child.....I can't stand all these clothes everywhere!!

Here is just some of the tubs:

Even my beloved Green boutique Dragonfly diaper bag is going! Ohhh, the tears. I am ready to move on. I guess it is like a end of a era....baby era. If anyone wants boy or girl clothes of all sizes, Holla before they are gone...off to Ebay or Craglists land!!

Friday Facts

1. Benjamin Franklin invented swim fins.

2. Malaysians wash their babies in beer to protect then from disease.

3. In case you were wondering: In general, frogs hop faster that toads.

4. The big chill: The South Pole is colder than the North Pole.

5. A restaurant in Mississippi called Hello, I'm...Jello served over 400 dishes made from jello.

6. Poll results: 12% of American boat owners name their boats "Serenity".

7. According to a Yale study, you think better in the winter that in the summer.

8. Moose are very nearsighted. Some try to mate with cars.

9. A plucked eyebrow takes about 90 days to grow back.

10. White House meals were cooked over a fireplace until 1850.

Slang Word of the Week

Blogger's, here is the slang word of the week. Remember you read the definition, and post in the comments a sentence in which YOU use the word.

Are any of you enjoying your "talking street" lessons?

WORD OF THE WEEK: Jack
My sentence: Man, I got jacked on that hair-cut, they actually made me pay for that. Poor Cormac looked all janked up. I gave that lady jack for a tip!

We Take Nap Time at Our House Seriously

I took this pictures a week ago. By the looks of it, you would think: If any of our kids try to get up at nap time, they get a nice crack over the head with a baseball bat! Not the case, but Cormac was playing with the bat before nap time. I told him to go to bed, and he sat the bat against the wall here. After they both were sound asleep, and resting their innocent little heads, I saw this and thought it looked pretty funny.

"If you get up ONE MORE TIME, Mommy's gonna break a bat over your head!"

"You want another knot on your noggin?"

As you can imagine I have quite a nice batting average by now:) I actually am very lucky at nap time. Both kids never fight them....very rarely....and sleep 2 1/2 to 3 hours a day. This is much needed time for me!

April Fools......on Cormac's Hair!

Cormac was in need of a hair cut. I got him a appointment and off we went this morning. Here he is before the massacre, cough, haircut:

During the Crime: Looks like Cormac had a inclination about what was about to happen.

I told the lady we need it just trimmed up because his hair can't be too short for summer. If it is the sun will go right through his white hair and fry him up! Just a scissor cut. The girl started and asked for help. The second girl just started chopping. I will say in their defense that since his hair is so blond and fine, each cut you make really stands out. Finally I just said make it even all around. Here he is after the butcher:

The cosmetologist must have thought it would be funny to April Fool's on us I guess. Should I have paid for this cut? O'well, it is just hair and will grow back. If my friend Andrea would have been there, I would have gotten it for free, they would have ended up paying me for the butchery, and some. Off we went. I had a play date/exercise at the park with Sheri and Andrea, so we ran home long enough to get a hat to cover the disgrace. I didn't want any moms to call CPS on me for hair abuse. Here he is at the park:

He did so well, it is time to go get him his first bike!

Two peas in a pod:

HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY!!!

They are Driving me to Drink!

Who you ask is gonna drive me to drink? This little, almost 1 1/2 girl! I swear she wants to belong to Al Anon like it's the brownies! She just keeps pushing and pushing. She may look sweet and innocent, maybe even harmless, but she can destroy a house in 2.5 seconds flat! Yesterday was one of those days you want to throw back and start over. We never have the terrible twos at our house. It starts around 14 months as they start to find their independence, and it can last up till around their 2nd birthday. Cormac was this way and now Chloe is picking up the reins, and training to be a jockey.

Yesterday started out normal. I had a play date at the park with a great friend in the morning. Got in the shower and Chloe usually hangs with me in the bathroom. Oh, not today, she was apparently to busy throwing dog food all over the house. I mean everywhere. In the hallway, living room, kitchen, down the stairs. As I stepped out of the shower I caught her with a hand full, said no!!! She then laughed at me as she threw her hand full, and ran laughing. That resulted in her first time out while I got to clean up the mess...I was already running late. (only 1 horses' life was wasted in the process of this story). I then got the pleasure within the last 30 hours of occasionally stepping on a piece of dog food here and there that was camouflaged and not cleaned. Each time I would step on one, DOH!

Got to the park, and had a great time, besides the fact that my friend and I spent the whole time chasing our littlest ones. After nap time, Chloe managed to get into my Fica plant and throw potting soil everywhere. Got to clean that up. Cormac then accidentally dropped a car down a heating vent that is open do to remodel, and as I went to grab it, found a mountain of treasure. 1 big train, 2 small trains, 3 cars, 1 sippy cup that was thankfully full of just water, 1 bottle, 1 block and a few other misc. toys. Then son, for some weird reason, decided to pee his pants twice out of the blue. Chloe decided to make another Mrs. Hankey in the tub, resulting in having to haz-mat the tub and toys. It just went on and on all day.

I stated in my previous post, I can now rate my day my the number of pilsner glasses emptied, and what CD I listen to. That being said; yesterday was 1 P and a Tori Amos Cd day. It may have been more, but my Aunt was over for dinner and to treat me. Maybe I will change my music on here to Tori Amos, so you can get the full effect. Just grab your beverage and go to my blog page and turn it up and relax:)))

Oh, and then my mom also called me this morning:

Mom: "So you have been drinking it up a lot lately?"
Me: "Noooo, mom, it is not like that."
Mom: "You know it could turn into a habitat then a problem."
Me: "Yeah, I know. Thanks"