Monday, March 31, 2008
Areas for improvement include your sanity, weight loss, self-esteem, cottage cheese thighs, loosing the "cliff", arm wing flaps, wobbly bits, getting back to having only 2 boobs instead of 4, stopping the voices in your head, trying to get back to seeing your feet again, and life in general.
Us women have a lot in common, and we need to stick together. We take a beating everyday with all our responsibilities to everyone. We rarely take time for ourselves without feeling guilty. We can tend to loose our own identity in the process. Our identity becomes keeping our marriage happy and together, raising our children the best we can, keeping our house in order and up to par, putting dinner on the table, being a under-paid taxi service, and making sure homework is done. Many of you women also have full-time jobs to tend to on top of it all.
I have been doing this, posting once a week, but putting the title in my blog label. So I thought I would start putting these posts in the blog title. So here is my first SHOT! Hope I don't get a hangover.
So I go to the gym every morning, and my hubby always went at night after the kids went to bed. He just could never do the 5am thing, especially in the cold winter. So the nights worked for me, but weren't working for him. He would get home and have so much energy that he would stay up to late and be tired in the morning. Soooooooo, then comes the idea to go after work two weeks ago. Does he not understand that after being home with the kids all day...I look forward to 5pm? I know I will get a break and maybe be able to cook dinner in some peace and quiet? Obviously not. By the time he would get home, dinner was done. So after a week of having to do Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner by myself.....I moved into action and implemented plan A.
Being the thoughtful person that I am, I wanted to share this Plan A with my fellow Gin In My Apron Pocket girls. Please notice my image below:Here we have: A tall frosted pilsner glass filled with low carb beer, and my Celtic Relaxation CD. I took this picture last week because the bubbles rising through my glass just made me giddy, and I wanted to share with the girls. And yes, a few drinks are missing in the glass. I couldn't help myself before I took the picture.
So plan A went like the following: I decided if I was going to do dinner by myself, I should at least make it fun.
Step 1: Get music playing apparatus and place in kitchen.
Step 2: Find CD that is relaxing and soothing, and push play.
Step 3: Get glass to hold beverage of choice (in my case a frosted one from the freezer).
Step 4: Fill glass with beverage of choice.
Step 5: Enjoy beverage and music while cooking dinner and serving family.
So after a few days of this, and my husband coming home to his wife drinking the stress away, he became worried. He told me that it would not be good if I started to drink every night. I said I know, my waist line would balloon. I told him that the gym schedule wasn't working for me, and he will force me to drink myself into rehab....and he will have to foot the bill. So he made a compromise and now will only go every other day. Which means I ONLY have to drink three days a week! Who wants to come over for dinner?!?!?!?!
Friday, March 28, 2008
I shall not be liable for the following:
1. Soiled panties
2. Ruined office chairs due to #1
3. Anyone who sharts
5. Heart attacks
6. Spontaneous combustion
7. Lost job due to reading blog at work
8. Choking due to dislodged food from eating while reading
9. Liquid that comes out of your nose from drinking while reading
10. Brain aneurysms
11. ......and finally as previously warned.....night tremors!
So folks, please do me a favor and check with you family physician before continuing to read this blog. Please email your Doctor's note so I can officially clear you.
And if some of you are still wondering and trying to ask your teenager, what a shart is...watch below.
6. Q. Who was the first person to put Frankenstein on film? A. Thomas Edison.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
1. LOST (too much valuable information that you have to know ASAP as it airs)
2. The Office (please forgive me Dwight, may god bless your soul)
3. Survivor (R.I.P.)
Actually, we all survive because god answered my prayers and sent me 2 DVR's! So I can record and watch them all....with no commercials. LOST is suspenseful enough to have to wait a week in between episodes! OH THE HORROR!!!
Anyway, Dwight Schrute is my favorite character, AKA Rainn Wilson. You know the whole thing about 6 degrees of separation? Rainn and I are only separated by 3 degrees!! One day I look forward to meeting him. Dwight is a wise prophet that you can learn many things from, things I call Dwightisms. Such as, Don't "F" with a Schrute. That being said I thought I would start dedicating Thursday's to my Dwight. Watch him in action below, and ask yourself "How safe is your Office?" Oh, and if anyone wants to know what I want as a gift, this and that.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Just like typical smokers, when the kids woke up from their naps, they needed a quick fix of nicotine, cough, sugar, and wanted a smoke first thing (see the bed hair).
The busted smokers: Cormac smoking it up:Chloe trying her best to look like a smoker:So naturally they are both now on the patch. The 3 week step program to kick the habit. If that doesn't work..we will try Wellbutrin or Chantix. Wish them luck, they say it takes at least 3 tries to kick the nasty habit. I am sure I am to blame and we will be on Dr. Phil in 15 years. Stay tuned!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Keep making momma proud!!
Click here for last weeks sentences. Good work.
WORD OF THE WEEK: JankyMy sentence: I was so Jankety when I scanned this Slag Card that it is all Janked up and crooked. Sorry, these kids got me all jankey. O'well, I am sure it is beer:30 somewhere, oh wait it is here at my house:)
I used all three versions!! Take that Andrea, who is all Jankey now!!!!
Monday, March 24, 2008
Dressed in our Sunday's best for Easter Service: After a wonderful and meaningful service, we had a big family lunch and egg hunt planned. Both sides of our families got together. While the boys hid the eggs, and the women where in the kitchen, Miss C decided to play a classical piece on the piano:The egg hunt for the cousins:
We then had a wonderful lunch with lots of great food. We all stuffed ourselves, and had great conversation. I ate to much Jello Pretzel salad and ham, the kids all ate to much candy. We let them, because heh...it's Easter! The kids all enjoyed re-hiding and re-finding eggs for hours of entertainment, while the adults wished for naps. Hope everyone had a great holiday with all their families. I know I am blessed to have such a great family on both sides, and we can all come together and get along!!
Friday, March 21, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
To make life easier, my husband has now taken ill with this bad bug. IT is the flu and a nasty chest cold combined. Fever, body aches and all! My house is a mess, and I have no energy to care at this moment. Chloe and I have been living off the Boomerang channel and the Smurfs to pass the days.
After all the aliments that have inflicted themselves on me, and having a sick child and hubby....I feel like Weepy Smurf. I thought this episode was truly fitting, when Weepy Smurfs is crying and says, "But if it is not one thing it is another." That about sums things up right now. So I hope you all enjoy a trip down memory lane.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Spent all week getting caught, facing indictment, and resigning Eliot Spitzer? Here is what you missed....
256- Number of Kleenex we have gone through (at least).
1- Cavities filled (I was the lucky subject, part of the Year of Jamie project).
2- Bowls of Creamy Chicken Noodle Soup that has been brought to me.
2- Number of people that have came over to pray for me.
6- Baths take to ease body aches
3- Rolls of TP gone through.
7- Protein shakes consumed.
0- Days spent at the gym.
4- Dinners I have got out of having to cook.
2- Gallons of water the humidifier has gone through.
I could go on and on, but don't have the energy.............................
Friday, March 14, 2008
Keep making momma proud!!
Click here for last weeks sentences. Good work.
WORD OF THE WEEK: HotMy sentence: Even when I am sick and praying to the porcelain god and having the Hersey squirts, I still manage to look so mad hot. When my hubby takes the thermometer to take my temperature....it is off the charts!!!
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Here he is with his ear protection:
I originally wanted a pair for Cormac, so that he cold go to band practice with dad or go watch a show. Every once in awhile they would play a show where you didn't need to be 21 or older. Cormac wanted to watch dad play a show real bad. Also he would play his drums sooo loud, I wanted to protect his ears. SO I searched high and low for toddler size headphones. Couldn't find any. Then I saw a picture of Gweneth Paltrow with ther daughter Apple at one of Coldplay's show's, and found what the brand was. I found where to get them , in England. If anyone wants a pair, let me know. I can maybe find the website where I ordered them.
You can never be to safe with their ears. They have found a high % of children's toys are actually to loud and damage their ears. Just like all those really annoying Easter Chicks that will be soon coming your way! If we get a loud annoying toy, when the batteries go dead, we tell then it is broke.
They also come in handy for lots of other things: When I get crazy and want to cuss up a storm, I can say, "Cormac...earmuffs." And babble on like a drunken sailor. Or, when I want to turn up my tunes in the car, " Cormac....Earmuffs!" Here are some other pictures of Cormac rocking out back in December 2007.
With his guitar:
On his drums:On daddy's drums:
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Thanks Lotta...you rock. Can't wait to see what you make next for Miss C., let Chloe's jewelry box and my shot glass fill-ith full. Oh, try to stay away from huffing too much glue! Ohh, all you other mommies....I got first dibs...sucka's!!!
I thought I better do a cute post and show a picture of Chloe before my family takes me hostage. When Miss C wakes up, I go get her, and try to cuddle with her as long as she will let me. She always wakes up about 1/2 hour before the Cor-Mac daddy. She never wants to cuddle very long, because she always wants to hang out with daddy as he gets ready for work. Or, she wants to play with brother, so she will knock on his door and try to look under the door. Pretty cute site to be seen. Her down on the floor trying her hardest to peek under the door.
Although recently, with in the last few months, her new thing is to go out to the dinning room and climb up in her chair and wait to be fed. She doesn't make noise, just sits patiently until I realize what she is up too. So one morning I snapped this picture. She LOVES to eat! She treats it like a sport, and she had defiantly made it to the Olympics. She working for the Gold Medal.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Oh sorry, I was on a rant. Back to my story, now where was I? Yes..so I was having a wonderful evening with the in-laws. We brought over some New York steaks and had a great meal. Then I went hot tubbing....oops...I mean chunky dunking. As I soaked my 29 year old bones, I realized how hard it had become to breath in the last few days. It wasn't getting better, but worse. It felt like someone was sitting on my chest and I couldn't get a good breath. Knowing that if you get a chest injury, and you stop taking deep breaths..you will get pneumonia. So, I thought oh great on to the next drama. So I called my sis, who is a nurse, and asked her what the symptoms were of pneumonia were. "Do you have this?" YadaYadaYada. "Is this happening?" YadaYadaYada. "Are you coughing up this?" YadaYadaYada. Good no pneumonia! I had been a good girl, and purposely have been taking deep breaths to prevent this very thing. She did not like the fact that I was having trouble breathing. I needed a chest x-ray. Here were my options:
1. Actually call around Monday to get a family doctor, (click here for as to why), and find one that was taking patients. Then hope they can get me a appointment ASAP.
2. Go to the walk in clinic first thing in the morning to go see ol' "Crazy eye", and hope he will order me a x-ray..not knowing my history. (Those of you living in this town know what I am talking about.)
3. Go and throw away 3-4 hours of my life by going to the ER and ask for Minor Care. Trust me, I will have to blog about those other trip some other time.
I decided I didn't want to roll the dice with #1 and #2, I choose what was behind door #3!! I just figured I would take a gamble and hope that there was going to be no major car accidents, deadly domestic disputes, Viagra induced heart attacks, or any house fires that evening. I really just wanted to get it over with. My sis told me: I need to go here, and ask for this, and tell them that. So I just asked her to tag along on what would be the best three hours of her life, I promised. I checked outside to make sure there wasn't a full moon, nope, good to go......off I went.
When we got there, we checked in with the "I hate everyone and my job" and the "Yeah, right you are hurt, You just want pain pills" or:We were then told (In the best raspy smoker's voice) to go and sit to begin our 3 hour wait. They then yelled....NEXT! We went and Lysol'ed our seats and sat down. We made the best of it though, we sat and chatted and laughed. After 1 hour, I got called into a triage nurse, then off to the admit to give them my insurance info so they could try their best to try and charge me $100 for a Kleenex. Then, you guessed it, back to the waiting room. Then after another hour,we became the lucky ones to get a VIP pass back to minor care!!! When she called my name I did the "I just won a Oscar award look" Me?, oh, me?, you really called MY name?,wow I must have really great health insurance? It is kinda funny to watch every time the girl would open the door, and would gets ready to call out a name, everyone looks like a poor lost puppy at the pound, "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
I then got to tell my story for the 3rd and fourth time. After a quick "cop a feel" I was told I would be going to get a chest x-ray, and told to disrobe. The nice young girl put me in a wheel chair and paraded my naked, fine butt through the hospital till we got the desired department. I did my best "parade-pageant wave" as I made my way there.
After I was done, the x-ray guy had me sit back down in my wheel chair. OK, the words "my wheel chair" should never be used in a sentence again, that is scary. He then said, "Now don't go anywhere." Now where was I gonna go? I told him not to worry, I would not be much of a flight risk in this outfit. He got a chuckle, and I thought, doesn't this man know if I ran out of here my tata's would surely give me two black eyes? Back to minor care in my float for my parade wave, and x-ray results.
Good news: No fracture or break!! I have just manage to tear the cartilage that attaches from my ribs to my sternum, and on the back of my ribs. Inflamed cartilage can give you the "someone sitting on my chest" feeling. So I got A inhaler and a anti-inflammatory. I have been feeling a lot better and will be back to the gym soon!! So in a nutshell this is how I spent 3 hours at the ER:
It goes something like this: Sign in to the Waiting room to the Triage nurse to the insurance check in to the waiting room to the minor care examine room to the nurse to the PA to the X-ray room back to the examine room to the PA for results to the LPN for meds. Any Questions? There will be a test on this tomorrow.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
I was so amazed at this news I didn't know what to do with myself, so I ran around in circles until I became dizzy and fell down. I mean, the only circumstance that would ever lead to my husband leaving town with the the kids, while I stayed home is: Broken ribs. At this point I will do what is takes for a much needed break from tending to everyone's needs!! Ladies if you need a break (no pun intended), just ask yourself, "Where is the sleghammer?"
Hubby asked me if their was anything I wanted him to pick up at the mall while he was down there? Sure I say, you can look for a cute Easter dress for......stop. No, never mind, please refer to this blog. So I packed them up, and shipped them all out the door, and yelled, "Don't Call me I'll call You."
I envisioned myself laying around relaxing sleeping in, staying up late, taking naps. Watching all my backlogged DVR'd shows, while laying naked in a pile of chocolate wrappers. I thought I was going to go on a scrappbooking/TV/chocolate/junkfood/beer/Pepsi/naptime/icecream binger. At least these were my plans.
First order of business: I scheduled a massage, done.
Second order of business: try to go back to sleep it was 7am! Of course I couldn't, Arrrgghhh. So now time for:
Third order of business: go and edit and send 300+ pictures to Costco to prep for my scrappbooking marathon. Fought with that for a couple of hours!!! Just breath deep Jamie, and relax.
Then I decided it would be a perfect time to actually steam clean my rugs and carpet since everyone was gone, and Lord Louie (my English Bulldog) decided to go outside and eat grass and come in my house and vomit and have explosive diarrhea (another serenity now moment) everywhere. Step mom came over and cleaned rugs and carpet for me since she forbid me to injure myself further. (Thanks soooooo much, you rock!)
In reality this is what happened:
1. Didn't sleep in once or take one nap. Figures. My internal clock wouldn't allow it. Tip for next time...get sleeping aides, and drug myself.
2. Didn't scrapbook one thing. So after I packed everything up and hauled it all down to CropPaperScissors, I didn't feel creative. So I filed and organized the 300+ pictures I had.
3. Didn't have any chocolate or junk food. I actually barley ate anything. I lived off of protein meal shakes and Spark. Pretty sad when you are to lazy to even go to the store to get the junk. I finally had a break from cooking meals and feeding kids, that I didn't even have the energy or desire to feed myself. It is the new concentration camp diet. That is how mentally drained I have been.
4. Didn't have one brew. I am a cheap date, and though I could have three Coors and pass out. Nope didn't go to the store (for reason please refer to previous number). No taping the Rockies this time.
I did however get to hang out with great friends, and go have Chinese food, and get a awesome massage. I also missed my family terribly and couldn't wait to see them. I was the one calling them. When the crew arrived home, I realized my children must suffer from Safe Toliet Syndrom (STS). In true style, Save Your Drama for Your Momma! With in the first 30 minutes Cormac decided to "cop a squat" at the diner table. We caught him just after the first Mr. Hankey, and put on the toilet to finish. Hubby got to clean up that mess. Then I put the kids in the tub, and Chloe decided to follow suit and "cop a squat" in the tub. Cormac high-tailed it out of the tub, and Matt got to fish Mrs. Hankey out. I only wish we would have had a fecal fishing net, dang. Sorry, TMI. Back to the daily grind.