I, Tinker Sugar Socks, am happy to have a new innocent target to corrupt and Hussify. I just hope she didn't make any plans this week....she might not be making it around for a few days!
So what did I decide to NOT buy Anndi? Well I don't know her to well..know her wants, desires, and mental needs..but in lieu of my previous post on Red Dawn coming (GO READ TO UNDERSTAND THIS POST)....I thought I would give her a "Post Red Dawn" Hussy Bag. As I was busy yesterday packing my Red Dawn Hussy bag..I found a few things I could spare and pass on to Anndi. After all, I want her to make it out of this Christmas Season alive. You never know what could happen to you when you leave the bunker to go out there combat shopping!
Below is my Grinch sleigh that I loaded up with Anndi's "Hussy Bag." As you can see I have many survival supplies for her post Red Dawn life. I will go through and explain each gift:
First things first. You need a bag to carry all this loot in..so I gave Anndi a exclusive Christmas time only, Hussy Housewife "Turning Tricks" bag: Next up we have what every one needs for getting through these tough economic times...A bunch of cronies, AKA my "Partners in Crime." I got her a Hussy Housewife bobblehead, a Capt. LeatherFace bobblehead, and a Dwight bobblehead. These will come in handy when she is combat Christmas shopping. When you feel threatened..just pull one out and wave it in the air. People will slowly back away. Other items to have on hand in the Hussy Bunker, Cheap white wine. We still need to look classy when living underground:We must not forget one of the most important things to have on hand, Dehydrated water:This one comes in handy the next morning after drinking to much cheap white wine. I also got her a "Popping Pills Poop Duck." I gave her my old dirty one. This item will come in handy when you start hearing more voices in your head from isolation issues. These happy pills will help keep the paranoia down..so you don't get to trigger happy.
Next we have some Hussy Heels. They double as a door stopper and a deadly weapon. I want her to still look fierce in the mountains, but still be armed.
I also packed along a sweet baby. Now, I don't know if she already has children of her own, but I figured the more the better. You need to make sure you have someone to propagate the species if anything goes wrong or you break a heel. I am sure my cronies in the bunker will help keep her entertained, but I still didn't want her to feel lonely and cold at night. So I also bought her the "Hug me boyfriend Pillow."Again, I don't know if she is single and ready to mingle..but I figured this would keep Capt. LeatherFace out of her bed at night. He smells, and has bad morning bunker breath. Lastly, I bought her the most important gift besides the bobbleheads...the red panic button:This she can push when she is in grave danger and all her happy pills have ran out! I will appear in my cape and pass some more booze and pills!
Merry Christmas Anndi!
Tinker Sugar Socks AKA The Hussy Houswife