Thursday, October 30, 2008

I would like to take a moment...

to thank that old Betty in my spin class that not only inspired my 4 part series on "That's my bike bee-och!", but helped me achieve dropping a pant size. Yes, because of you stealing my bike..forcing me into the nose bleed section...causing me to work harder to burn off my rising internal steam..causing my biscuits to burn. This biscuit burning resulted in my pants falling off! Not only would I like to thank you, but also my husband and neighbors. Neighbors? While carrying a laundry basket by my front window...down they go. Pants at my feet.."Howdy creepy poltergeist neighbor!" In my driveway getting my kids out of their car seats...down they go again. "Howdy junk-mailman!" That is how you earn the Hussy reputation!

Sally: "Did you hear?'
Sue: "No, what?
Sally: "About the Hussy Housewife?" "Every time a guy comes around, she drops her drawers!"
Sue: "NO!" "What a Hussy!"
Sally: "Yeah, I told Frank he is not allowed to drive down her street anymore."
Sue: "Really?" "I am going to go call Bill and tell him that to."

Now before you go hop in your car to drive by and see this freak show...I already bought new pants. Streaking problem solved...well at least in front of strangers. Now if you will excuse me. I must go finish putting the finishing touches on my Halloween costume that I have decide to try out tomorrow morning on Friday morning spin class. Just to get their reaction before the big fright night. I want to see if I can make them choke on their protein shakes!! Ohh, how rude of me to not let you in on the gag..I am going as a 80's Jazzercise aerobic instructor. When I show up to class..people are gonna drop their morning Mr. Hankey on the floor. Now excuse me as I go squeeze into my unitard...should I go with sweat bands or a banana clip?

Here is my inspiration/hero: HOTDOG!

So I am gonna find my boogie body tomorrow. The hussy will...FIND it, FEEL it, DO it....ohhh god YEAH! I'm gonna be DANCING..PRANCING!!! I'm gonna have a mighty fine good time. The Hussy says, "Get loose for heavens sake!" "Don't you know how to get loose by now?" "I should think you would after reading my blog long enough." Come on...everyone has got a little soul in their hips.

I am the Hussy Housewife, and I approve this message.

If you think I deserve the here to vote for me to win the Humor Blogger of the year award. Voting ends December 31st!


LadyShuttleMaker aka MadMadPotter said...

Sweatbands AND a bannana clip! Do you have the leg warmers and wrist bands to match? LOL! Takes pics PLEASE!
Also, congrats on losing weight...that is no small feat...keep up the good work!

The Hussy Housewife said...

Aww thanks sherry!

Dr Zibbs said...

This is the whitest video I've ever seen. Also The Soccer Mom Files sent me over here.

The Hussy Housewife said...

Dr- Like white on rice baby. But we know you secretly moved your boogie body??? Come on tell us! Soccer mom rules!

LadyShuttleMaker aka MadMadPotter said...

P.S....I'm still work'n on that patient..I am running on my last brain cell.

Kevin John said...

Thanks Hussy, I will at once be driving by your house tonight, or come up to your door, or know, just in case.

The Hussy Housewife said...

Sherry- I am w-a-i-t-i-n-g ! I can't wait to see what you make :))

kevin john- YOu are to late...I would now like to thank the Halloween cand for making those pants not fall off anymore :( LOL!

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