Soooo, I bike on Park Place. It has a nice view there, of the instructor and the clock. It is in a nice upper class neighborhood, with a fan just down the street...pointed right at us. I moved to the neighborhood about 4 years ago, and only left Park Place once. I took a brief sabbatical if you will for 8 months. I moved down 7 bikes to the corner "Go to Jail" spot. I got pregnant for the second time and moved to jail for 8 months so I could sit in the corner and have the fan directly behind me. For those of you that don't understand..you get very hot when you are prego, hence needing the fan. Well actually I really was sentenced to jail for 40 weeks, 10 months. But due to
So needless to say, last week when I had the final straw..the last thread on my tires..I was sitting on Mediteranean Avenue. Paying $2 dollar rent with no view of a clock or fan, a bad part of the neighborhood lets just say. That is when I decided enough was enough, and implemented my plan.
So, this women had to go. I was going to reclaim my bike. I go up earlier, and the kids ready sooner. When I got there..she was no where to be found. Sweet, my Prune juice and Fiber cereal ads worked!! So I was good to go..when she finally arrived she was moved back to her old bike down at "Marvin Gardens"! HA! So class was great, my bike was so happy to see my sweet cheeks. Then at the end of class, during stretching, she looked back at me..and I smiled real nice back at her. But she knew what I was thinking.."See Bee-och, this is my bike and it's game over for you." "Do not pass go, do not collect $200 dollars."
Then I leave class and Captain Joesph LeatherFace pulls up to pick me up from class, and this is what I see: ME: Umm, CJLF..what are you doing with that face mask?
CJLF: Aye..Avast..we gotta go!
ME: Why..what did you do now? Have you been drinking Rum already this morning? You know you can't drive loaded!
CJLF: No, no, I am not loaded, I just placed a black spot on that lassy-landlubber who had been steal'in ye bike!
ME: What did you do? And why wear a pirate mask as a disguise you survey DOG! You are a PIRATE!
CJLF: YO, YO, ME hearty. That mask doesn't look nothing like ye lad. Don't be sweating all over me boots, and no landlubbers saw! I made sure of that. That wench won't be tak'in yer bike now.
ME: Oh...I knew I shouldn't have let you of the ship this morning..(I then look at the front of the suburban)
ME: What did you do!!. Ohh, She-ot..go..go!
Well now she is at the hospital under the care of my sister, singing
Yeah, cops.....I may be crazy, but I just may be the lunatic your looking for. See on the news!