Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Gin In My Apron Pocket: Poo is your friend too

Lately on our MTKillers blog we have been talking about the good ol' native brown trout. In many people's lives he has become a endangered species. This is not good news folks, the brown bear needs to come out of the cave more than once a week. More like twice a day. So, I thought I would share one of my posts with you on the subject of chocolate delights, so you don't have any chocolate hostages. This may help you let them free:

I am totally down with the poo, and the twice a day Mr. Hankey. Mr. Hankey loves you to spend good quality time with him like a emotional women. Likes you to talk to him, hear what he is trying to say, like:"Please eat more fiber so I don't look like a dried up sausage."Or "Please drink more water so I can come see you more than once every few days." It is important that you spend good quality time in the bathroom working on building this relationship. Get to know Mr. Hankey and his likes and dislikes. What time of day he wants to come visit, and how often. If you don't he will make your life miserable with a bloated tummy and backed up system. Don't piss of Mr. Hankey or he will come when you least expect it and give you the Hershey quirts or clog your toilet!!Don't believe me? Than read this women's lovely post. Yeah, nuff said. Don't let that happen to you my friend. It is a lonely,lonely place. Make your sphincter muscle be the hardest working muscle in your body. You don't want any fecal pellets, means you need more h2o.

My regiment: I used to LOVE the whole wheat chex cereal with Somer sweet to sweeten. Somer sweet is the best natural sugar out there from my opinion. However, now I am into shakes, much faster when you have kids to feed first. In my every morning Protein Shake I chug before my workout, I gulp down some Lactobacillus Acidophilus and Bifidobacterium Bifidum for some good intestinal health. Gotta love some good, live, 2 billion good bacteria probiotics in the morning to get things "moving along." I am currently going to be adding a 1 oz shot of wheat grass every day since I am not consuming enough veggies a day. 1oz shot = 7-8 pounds of green veggies!! They come in frozen cubes, and tastes kinda like sweet peas....yummy! Remember fellow readers...Mr. Hankey is your friend till the end.

6 comments:

Bfun1 said...

No one can talk about POO quite like YOOOOO! So where do you obtain all this healthy stuff....not the poo but the wheat grass and lactobacillus acidophilus and bifidobacterium bifidum? Holy poo schmolie!

Scrapping Mommy said...

Oh, Jamie.. You never ceise to amaze me. And I am not suprised to be reading about "poo". You know I have my husband reading your blog now, cracks him up.

Jamie said...

Gotta love the poo talk, we all doo it ;) The probiotics I sell with my advocare, and they are in my shakes I take.

Amand- Wow, I am amazing! ;) Poo is very important, and I just thought I would so a Public service and help "backed up" people. Have any of these tips helped you? Tell your hubby hi, and I hope he enjoyed himself.....

Lotta said...

Oddly, I have gained weight doing this poo cleanse recently. It made me so HUNGRY. But things are moving along normally now so I'm hoping that the fiber will do it's job.

God I'm old.

Jamie said...

Very oddly your bowl's are Mrs. Lotta! I have never heard of that before...you should call guiness book of world record...you have super human insides!!

Glad to hear you finally did let the bear out of the cave though..good job. Hibernation has been long over due for a while now......

Suburbia Steph said...

Awwwww...Mr. Hankey! He sure smells all nice and flowery!

LOL!